Looking after your own wellbeing

Life can be mentally demanding, through the everyday work of having a job, getting around, shopping, paying bills, caring for family, and so on. If you have other worries such as financial or housing difficulties, relationship problems, or physical illness the sense of mental demand can be increased. All of this can cause stress arousal in the body and brain leading to fatigue, psychological distress, or mental ill-health.

The stressful nature of contemporary life can also be a kind of incentive for unhealthy habits such as vaping/smoking, using alcohol or other drugs, overuse of social media, gambling, or eating junk food. Doing these things can feel like getting some relief from life’s demands, but in fact it’s more a temporary distraction than any real relief. It can leave you feeling worse rather than better.

So, it's important to be aware and take steps to care for your own wellbeing and the wellbeing of others. Doing so doesn’t require new clothes, fancy restaurants or an overseas holiday. You don’t have to climb a mountain or run a marathon. The best strategies for wellbeing are generally cheap or free and available locally to most people. Here are seven simple activities to care for and strengthen your own wellbeing and maybe to support friends, family or neighbours to do the same. Some may suit you better than others. They all are flexible enough to adjust to individual needs and interests. This is not a list of ‘things to do’ but a menu of options, which connect and overlap with each other.

1.       Meaningful work

Having a sense of purpose or meaning in life is valuable for wellbeing. It can aim for something big and world changing, but it doesn’t have to. It can just be about making a positive difference to the people around you or to the place you live. Purpose can be found in paid employment of course, and if that’s the case for you, then great! If you find your paid work unrewarding, then perhaps you could try to initiate some new elements in your workplace to improve its ‘wellbeing-ness’ such as a social club or community project. Meaningful work can also be found in volunteer roles, at home or in your local community. It might be planting trees, volunteering with a local charity, organising a street party, or visiting an elderly neighbour.

For people working in leadership roles, members of your team are more likely to experience wellbeing at work if they are treated as whole people, can learn and use new skills, have some autonomy to make decisions, and are able to have a meaningful say in how things are done.

2.       Positive social relationships

The relationships we have with other people such as friends, family, workmates, social group, or what have you are not always positive for wellbeing. Obviously, if such relationships are violent, controlling, unequal, always critical or unfeeling they can do harm. However, when a relationship is caring and mutual, and both parties treat the other as a thinking, feeling, valuable person, they are very good for wellbeing. We all need a few relationships like that.

The benefits of social relationships for wellbeing can come in many forms. Making a positive difference to other people is of benefit to them but can also be great for your own wellbeing. It might be about lending a non-judgmental, listening ear to a friend who is struggling. It might be about getting out of your comfort zone, to join a new group and try something different. Being active with friends or family by going for a walk, playing a board game, doing some craft, gardening or making music is good for your relationships and for wellbeing.

3.       Exercising skills

Many people exercise skills at work, but here I am talking particularly about using your skills outside of paid work, simply for the enjoyment of it. Exercising skills in this way is great for wellbeing and reduces stress. People talk about ‘flow’ states, which really just means when a person is completely absorbed in doing something they enjoy. What skills do you enjoy? It might be about mechanics, carpentry, cooking, sewing, doing a jigsaw, making art, flower arranging or… it’s up to you. While it is possible to make money from a hobby, that’s not really the main point for wellbeing. Just doing it is enough.

4.       Connecting with nature

Connecting with nature is really about being in sensory contact with the natural land, sea and skyscape, plants, animals or water in some form. Being outside and seeing trees, smelling flowers, feeling the breeze on your skin, looking at the clouds or birds flying by –this is deeply human and great for wellbeing.  Not everyone is lucky enough to live near a beach or a national park, but there’s usually some piece of green or blue space within reach. If not, then even just taking care of a few plants in pots can make a difference.

If you have some garden space available, you can make it a place that feels peaceful and rewarding, by growing and tending a few plants. Gardening to grow food is also great for wellbeing, whether it’s a few herbs, a lemon tree, a tomato plant in a pot, or a garden bed full of vegies. It’s doesn’t have to be about producing a big food supply – just a few things is enough.

Some areas now have community gardens, where people living nearby can go to grow some food and share skills, and just sit and enjoy the sights and smells.

5.       Present-moment awareness

These days, it’s not unusual for people’s mental attention to be focused on tasks: things to be done, problems to solve, expectations to meet, things to worry about. For many, being in that kind of mental state may extend over much of their day. It may just feel normal – the way life is. With the rise of digital media, work demands, social messages, or current events can grab our attention at any time day or night – keeping that mental state of ‘getting things done’ switched on over longer periods. While we may not realise it, living like this is stressful and fatiguing. It can contribute to mental ill-health. And it is not just ‘normal life’ at all; there are other ways to be.

It is possible to shift one’s mental state into a whole different way of thinking and feeling, which I call ‘present-moment awareness’. Others refer to ‘mindfulness’ – same thing. This is great for reducing stress and for positive wellbeing. You can practice present-moment awareness and learn to do it well. Here’s one basic method. Take some time in a quiet, undisturbed place to ‘watch’ your own mind, and notice that there are busy thoughts and feelings coming and going all the time. As you become more aware of this flowing current of thoughts, try to then deliberately shift your mental attention to focus just on your body or breath, or on your immediate senses. If thoughts continue to come up, don’t get annoyed, just notice calmly that this has happened, let the thoughts go, and return your attention to the here and now. If this initially seems boring or pointless, then try to persist. Remember, you’re not trying to ‘do nothing’ or ‘think nothing’. It’s about calmly paying attention to mind, body, breath, senses in the present moment; exploring what that feels like, exploring a different sense of who you are in that moment. Be curious and stick with it. You will be rewarded.

Taking time to go outside and be in contact with the sights, sounds, feelings and smells of nature is another great way to practice present-moment awareness. Again, pay attention to your senses, look carefully at the foliage of a tree, patterns of light and shade in the clouds, or the tiny details of moss sprinkled with leaves. Listen to all the birds sounds around you, or wind in the treetops, the tinkle of a stream or the gush of a wave on the sand. Try to experience these things freshly, vividly, right there in the moment.

You can also just read a book, listen to music, or lie on the couch and have a snooze.

6.       Learning

Learning something new is good for wellbeing. It might be about teaching yourself something through practice and trial and error. It might be by doing a class, reading a book, listening to a podcast. It could be learning Middle Eastern recipes, how to play the tuba, a new language, the anatomy of the dragonfly, the history of the Mayan culture… the options are literally endless. Follow your interests and be curious about the world.

7.       Simplicity

For now, we live in a consumerist society. Every day, in a thousand subtle and not-so-subtle ways, we are encouraged to buy, buy, buy. Human wellbeing requires access to a basic level of material goods and services to maintain health, meet needs, and add a few aesthetic and playful elements to life. We need housing, food and clothing, ways to cook and keep clean, and so on. Beyond that, we don’t really benefit from much of the excessive ‘stuff’ which many households tend to accumulate. The act of buying that extra thing – whatever it is – may give a momentary buzz of pleasure, but is it really worth it? Keeping your life and living environment simple and uncluttered is good for your wellbeing. None of the activities above requires a high level of consumer goods.

These seven activities are certainly not the whole story on wellbeing but they’re worthwhile, nonetheless. They may already be familiar to you in some respects but still, try them on for size, see how you go.